Bikram

I've found a new obsession: Bikram Yoga.  Ever heard of it?  How about "hot" yoga?  Same thing.
(Well, sort of, actually.  There are hot yogas that aren't of the Bikram persuasion.)  Anyways.  I've been practicing yoga for years, and I love it.  I am of the belief that yoga heals the body of its ailments through breathing exercises and inversion poses.  In my opinion, everybody can benefit and should practice yoga, even children.

As for me, I have scar tissue in my neck that, if ignored, along with stress, creates golf ball sized knots in my neck that spread down my back.  It makes for some serious pain and headaches.   However, yoga helps me manage it, along with providing relaxation, and feeling good.

So, I've been hearing a lot of good things about this "hot" yoga.  Bikram, specifically, is a series of 26 yoga poses each one twice, and in the exact same order every time.  It takes 90 minutes and is carried out in a room heated to 105 degrees with 40% humidity.  The idea is that your muscles are more apt to do what you need/want them to, PLUS you sweat out all your toxins.

The boyfriend and I tried it out Monday.  It was basically 90 minutes of torture.  I kid you not.  When the instructor finally said that the class was over, I literally cried.  Tears.  But then I stopped b/c I didn't want to embarrass myself.  I kind of want to say that I hated it.  I was so HOT and uncomfortable and SOAKING wet.  I might as well have jumped in the bathtub with my clothes on.  That's how wet I (everybody) was.  My heart was beating in protest the entire time, and I was exhausted. 

I was back in 2 days.  And the day after that.  And I'm going again in an hour.

I like to torture myself.

Saturday

You know when a character on T.V. is a psychologist or something and attempts to hypnotize a patient?  They tell them to imagine a place that they feel most happy and relaxed and at peace?

This is my place.

oh.  and here too.

and this couldn't hurt.

(p.s. have you been to Brookstone lately and tried this thing?  It's ridiculous how awesome/effective it is.  It's a hundred dollars and as soon as I move to Tallahassee, it's going to be my numero uno purchase. I'm pretty sure my dad could use one of these as well.)

a thought.

OK. So I know I've been uber depress-fest lately...  Look, I'm sorry!

I almost can't help it.  If get a thought in my head, practically any idea AT ALL, it will spin, and toil, and run around my brain, and then sit impatiently on the ledge, until I let it out.  It's a rule.  Furthermore, if I do not express the idea in the right words and adequately, under my own arbitrary standard, then I have to repeat myself and try out different ways of saying it, until I'm satisfied. 

I've come to realize that this can be a problem.

It can be a problem for my own sanity.  And it can be a problem for the sanity of my l.o.s (loved ones) who suffer through my jibber jabbering.

Last night, after putting my dearest l.o. through one of my problem solving & (I thought) meaningful conversations about ... problems and solving them, something came to my attention.

You know how in church we're taught to control our thoughts?- sing a hymn, count down from 1000 by 3's, or whatever?  In my naivity, I have always sort of assumed that this was in reference to pornographic thoughts, and maybe hateful thoughts. All other ideas in my mind being 100% relevant and imperative.  Period.  Why else would they be there?!  It has never truly occurred to me that thoughts of negativity could be lies coming from the adversary, and were to be combated not entertained.  (You knew this, right?)

Moreover, I have always treated negative/downer thoughts (read: doubt, fear, anger, hurt, frustration) as indicators that I'm doing something wrong.  That I am wrong... "STOP/CHANGE whatever it is you're doing, NOW! Analyzation and problem-solvation are in order!"  Basically.  (Can you imagine my further frustration/confusion?)  It seemed ludicrous ignore such thoughts or *gasp*- let them GO.

Well, now, I'm hoping to change my tune.  In the face of major change, I am witnessing some of my unflattering tendencies come to the forefront and it doesn't suit.  I want to be the best person I can be.  I recognize this as something that I can do better.

Doubt and fear are useless emotions.  I can completely throw them out.  If I know something to be right and true, I can charge forward with faith and cheer.   I don't need reassurance from an outside source.  I know it in my heart already.

Anger, hurt and frustration, with a little more thought, can be turned into understanding, selflessness, and love... And PATIENCE!!!  Oh and don't forget faith! Yeah man.  I really want some more of that stuff.

It is important to control your thoughts instead of being subject to random synaptic firings. C'mon girl.

So, I'm thinking lots of prayer and help from the H.G.will help me with this challenge.

I'm mildly embarrassed that I'm barely coming to this realization now, but I thought I'd share.  Maybe you deal with the same thing from time to time?

rock climbing extravaganza

One of the things that I'm going to deeply miss upon moving to Florida is our newly renovated Cary Street Gym.  I mean, this place is rad.

This is the place that got me back into working out.  I go to step class, body sculpt, A.B.S., beach body workout, yoga, Absoglutely, & Boot camp; a different class everyday.  They offer the best variety of classes, and so I never get bored! 

Last night, Clint and I met up with a couple friends of ours and decided to try out the rock climbing wall at Cary street.  No joke, you can rent all the (brand new) gear for free, and if you're not certified to belay, you can grab somebody to do it for you.  Sweet. Deal.  Clint has never been rock climbing ever before, and he's afraid of heights, but he scurried up that wall like it was no big thang!  I was so proud of him!  He totally conquered his fear!  He's such a stud! 

So, I think we're going to start going once a week and make it a tradition.  Well, for a month, anyway!

Congrats Neda-Jan!

In Spanish if you put "ita" at the end of the word, it makes it sort of cutsie.  Like, for example, my friend Alba.  Sometimes I call her Albita.  Or a more familiar example, senorita means little senora, or woman...

Similarly, in Farsi, if you want to turn a persons name into a term of endearment, you put -jan (sounds like John) at the end.  So, Neda's name isn't actually Neda-jan.  But it is if you think she's the cutest person ever and want her to feel special!

Anyways.  Just a little cultural lesson... Ahem.

Neda-jan, is one of my besties and she just graduated from dental school today! Yay!  I'm super proud of her.  She also just got engaged a couple weeks ago, so things are definitely on the up and up in her world! 

In fact, many of my friends are taking big steps this year.

Fizza is starting dental hygiene school.
Omar is starting medical school.
Shawna is planning her wedding.
Marianne is starting grad school.
Jennifer P is preparing to go through the temple for the first time.
Traci is about to have a baby.
The aforementioned Neda is, as of today, a doctor now and engaged.
Nate' is starting a restaurant.
and I'm moving to Florida and starting a business. (I mention myself, b/c yes, I am my own friend.)

This certainly isn't the first time any of my amigos have done something noteworthy.  The majority of my Idaho friends are married with children and mortgages by now.  Normally, my go-to reaction to these sort of grown up behaviors is bewilderment. (I've been in denial for years about being an adult.)
Instead, today, I'm feeling kind of humbled and proud (can you feel pride and humility simultaneously?).  I get that this is a unique and important time for me and some of my buds.  I'm grateful that I get to be a witness to their lives and that I have them to be witnesses of mine.  They are a type of high grade quality that you don't come across often.  Life is challenging, and makes me cry a lot (these days), but it is pretty great, especially when you are sharing it with people who are awesomely fantasticles.

A word about Neda's family: First of all, Neda's grandma is the sweetest and coolest old lady ever. And she thinks I'm pretty neat too b/c I know how to say like 2 words in Farsi.  The first time I met her, I made sure to impress her by saying Boosem comb (kiss me) and Hosh mezza (delicious).  After that, she wanted me to marry her grandson! ha!

Secondly, after Neda's graduation, her whole family and I went to her apartment for food and hanging out.  They proceeded to crank the music and spontaneously dance in the kitchen.  I joined in.  Why not? It was totally cool.

48 hours

That's how long my raw/vegan diet experiment lasted.
I'd say it was a success.  2 whole days.  My "fast" (I'd consider it a fast, wouldn't you?) was broken with Persian chicken salad (compliments of Neda's mother), edamame, and pot stickers. Yes. Oh yes.
Can you say that you've eaten nothing but raw fruits and veggies for 2 whole days?

Raw food

Nate' has suggested that she and I go on a raw/vegan diet/cleanse for 3 weeks this summer. I'm often down for a good health challenge. I've been going to my fitness classes pretty regularly, lately and my energy level has been higher. However, I'd kind of like to take it to the next level. 

I'm a big proponent of fasting and eating veggies as much as possible, especially the raw variety. I believe that taking a break from foods that don't come directly from the ground to your plate gives the body a nice break. It allows it to clean out some toxins and heal.  But don't get me wrong.  You vegetarians and vegans out there are missing out.  Meat, cheese and refined sugar is the spice of life.  I'm just saying once in a while, give it a rest.

I decided to give my raw food diet a test run last night for dinner and all day today.  I just want a lil preview to see if I can handle it.

My dinner last night:
I had a handful of almonds and this delicious looking meal:

I went to a pretty hippie, local grocer called Ellwood Thompson's and picked up some stuff from their "Raw Bar".  They had 2 things.  So, I got them both.
That white junk on the left is raw cabbage with a poppyseed "dressing" and some onions.  It was gross.
The stuff on the right is raw "spaghetti"! And it was not bad, surprisingly.  It had portabella mushrooms and stringed veggies to pose as "noodles".  It just tasted like bruschetta.

Today, I ate almonds, raspberries, strawberries with acai berry juice, and water.  Nnnnuts and berries. I didn't feel like consuming any veggies today, so that's all I've eaten.  No wonder I kept day dreaming about Feta and steak and macaroni and cheese...  Despite the food fantasies, I'm not that hungry and my energy level is normal.  You're supposed to feel kind of tortured the first couple of days of eating this way, but then your energy should go through the roof and all kinds of awesome things will happen; like clearer skin, a clearer mind, faster healing of sore muscles and wounds.

I'm hoping that the toxins (read: knots) in my neck and the zits on my face will scram. 

If nothing else, this is a good mind over matter exercise.  I'll be able to tell if I can do it for real next month.  I haven't decided on how long I'm going to carry on this current charade.  Probably till Sunday.  It won't be any longer than that, as Clint returns Monday.  And that event will call for some feasting.