Saturday, February 13, 2016

Writing again.

I have gotten cautious in my 30's. I am more reserved about the stuff I put out there for others to judge me by. I remember that I used to be such an open person, lacking informational boundaries. It used to feel like such a cathartic relief to express myself in words. I had little shame. I was self-deprecating in a way that probably projected low self-esteem, but it was undetectable to me. I thought I was candid and relate-able, therefore obviously, universally liked.
After I didn't get into dental school, on my first try, to the only school I (foolishly) applied to; And after I didn't get to marry that cute pseudo-fiance because his family made it clear that I wasn't good enough for their son/brother. I was humiliated beyond coping. Life got so that "I couldn't even", as they say.

Since my best girlfriend at the time was soon moving out of state, I did what my lost, co-dependent, twenty-something-year-old head thought was reasonable, and I found a way to follow her. It wasn't hard either. She was thrilled, and my boss offered to have me franchise her mobile dance company. I said yes after a week of consideration. I signed and committed to living indefinitely in a place I had never even visited - Tallahassee, Florida.

It's been a struggle to get me to write anything ever since. Perhaps my type of writing is a type of accepting the right here, right now. And I've been very busy avoiding and rejecting the present moment, by way of A. Analyzing out all that went wrong in Virginia. B. Plotting an educational comeback (medical school) and subsequent career change, but never taking action. C. Constantly, running over in my mind when and how I stopped trusting myself and naturally, wondering if I ever did.

I like this new-ish movement happening where vulnerability is encouraged and thought of as powerful. I meditate now and it's teaching me some things about acceptance and self-worth. So I'm on a conscious journey now, and it's making me want to write.

A friend once told me that I always should include a picture whenever I blog. So, here you go. A picture of me and Nate' shortly after moving to Tallahassee.





Monday, February 13, 2012

Posting for posting sake

I've had a few requests over the last couple of months, that I start blogging again.  {I'm so flattered that I actually had 3 people reading my posts!} and I have been thinking about it, and I do want to blog... I just don't feel like I have anything interesting to talk about anymore... ! 

Buuut I like to write.  Or at least I used to, and since I have a couple fans {thanks, Kait, Dix, and Candace}, I'll start up again.  Also, I think it might be therapeutic for me.

Speaking of therapy.  I got a therapist!  I'm totally psyched about it. ;)

In other happy news, business is great!  I tripled my business this year from last year, and I am enjoying my dancing little stars.

Here are some of my cute lil stinkers!


Check me out and my awesome posture.  "Hey kids this is how NOT to stand if you don't want to look pregnant." Awe well.



This little girl is one of my favorite students.  Her mom might kill me if she knew I put this on my personal blog... But she's showing me a boo boo she got on her finger, and it was just too hilarious...

Go to my facebook page if you wanna see more of my dancers :)


I have a pretty awesome boyfriend named Kyle who brings interesting and stimulating elements to my otherwise nonstop work life.
 Nice hat eh?  This pic was taken yesterday, actually.  We were helping his mom with a kicked in (from a horse) gate and it was FREEZING yesterday.  Don't worry about us, it'll be back in the 70s the rest of this week.

This is Kyle at work with fellow stunt man.


I snapped some pics with my phone when the actor's weren't watching.  Look how rad I am right behind the camera and everything!

expensive camera!

We were bad and snuck in a pic with me and one of the monsters dudes from Teen Wolf.  This guy was talented! He was mostly a stunt man, I don't think he has speaking roles (I mean, I don't know, cause I don't want the show...) but I was watching him practice crawling around and doing fight moves and it was INSANE!


This is an eel swimming around next to me and saying hi while I eat at my favorite sushi place. 

Yum.



Goofin off with Altoid mints in Atlanta...

Some graffiti I found on a church wall in a bathroom.  Hilarious.





FROYO!  As you can see I'm taking pics of random stuff from my phone and sharing it...cause I know you're interested. You should know, b/c it's important, as friend, for you to know, that I ate Frozen Yogurt,  and I do this regularly, about once a week... and here's a pic for proof.  Comment if you like. 


Also, I really love Florida.  Did I mention it's in the seventies here?  In February?


The trees here look like this.  And they're everywhere.  They make me happy.




They also look like this.


And this.


And this... when Kyle and I start feeling pryotechnical. That's not a word. Go with it.


Local artist Stuart Riordan uses Kyle as a model sometimes.  Here is one of her paintings of him up in gallery.  She's amazing.



Valentine's Day is tomorrow.  I hope y'all have a lovely one!

Here's a little something from Bob Marley I came across that I loved. :)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Some Dr. Seuss

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

“Being crazy isn't enough.” 

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!”


“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!” 
 
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.” 
 
 
 
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 
 
“He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.” 
 
“Things may happen and often do to people as brainy and footsy as you”

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

September?

Why am I averaging 1 blog post every few months?

I'm sorry I've become so super distant and removed, guys.  Guys?  Are you still there...?

Well, I know there's at least 2 of you still paying attention.  So, thanks :)

I seem to have plateaued in my creativity, & spirituality.  I'm mostly content to just chill on the couch on my down time, and by chill I mean sleep.  I work, and I nap.  It's what I do.

Ok, well, I did bust out with some creativity the other day and made a cake for one of my local besties, Sara.  Wanna see? Ok. Here it is.

She liked it.
See?
Then we shared it.

These girls are all smiling cause I made them cake.

Or maybe it was b/c we all made this painting for Sara that turned out kind of awesome.

So....
Happy September 21st!

P.S. I ate these raw oysters the other day with a cute boy.  I fibbed and told him, I'd had them before, duh, who hasn't? Psh... and then I ate them, and was like NOM NOM NOM NOM... THEETH ARE REALLY GOOooD NOM NOM NOM.... (then I sneaked a pic with my phone so I could tell ya about it later.) The end.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Sunday Funday

So, hi guys!

How's about an update?

Back in May, I had my dance recital and it was SO cute and FUN and perfect.  What a great way to end a great year of learning and growth and cutie pies.  Believe it when I say that I don't have a single picture or video clip from that day.  I was too busy running that show, and all the people that promised to give me pictures of the day or send me video have not. Jerks.  So, sorry.  I promise, it happened in real life.

My first year of business was a blessed one.  I learned a lot. The end. 

Florida is incredible.  I love LOVE love living here.  I mean, Richmond VA is amazing, and I loved living there and it will forever hold an enormous place in my heart, but Fla? Tis' another place for me to call home. 

Tallahassee continues to grow on me.  I'll admit, at first I wasn't so sure about this college town, but the more I live here, and especially now that I'm living in a new part of town, I couldn't be happier (unless I had a beach house in St. Petersburg)

Which brings me to my next point, I drive down to Tampa and St. Petersburg every chance I get.  It's about 4 hours away, but worth the drive.  I WISH that it was in the cards for me to live down there, but for now, it simply is not.  But suffice it to say Tampa Bay area was built for a girl like me.  Love the people, love the restaurants, love the activity, love the weather, love the area. Love, love, love, love love.

So, hey, guess what? I'm training for a marathon! I decided it's time.  It's been an item on my "Bucket List" for years and now I'm serious about it.

Some good movies I've seen lately include: Jane Eyre, and Midnight at Paris and Secretariat.  All of them some of the best I've ever seen.  For those of you with kiddos, Secretariat is a true story about a rad horse that makes you want to cry when you watch him run in the races. I was literally cheering out loud for him and tearing up.  Man, I don't know what it is about boxing movies and animal movies, but I lose it every time.

Good books- the Book of Mormon, Anna Karenina, Jane Eyre, As a Man Thinketh, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and Attached.

These aren't books you've never heard of, but I'm currently reading all of them.  And they're all superb. Oh actually, you might not have heard about Attached.  It's a book about the 3 attachment styles of love, written by a couple of doctors.  If you're in love and have some problems understanding your mate, or wish you were in love read it.  It's the newest research.  An LDS psychologist recommended it to me (he's my home teacher. No, I'm not in therapy....although I should be, and sort of am already getting free sessions....) Anywho, girls, read the book, it's pretty brill.

Yesterday, a girlfriend of mine and I went on a an adventure and it was AWEsome.  Tallahassee is about 30 minutes from a river that comes from a Spring called Wakulla.  It's so clean and clear you could literally drink it as you swim in it, and it's the most refreshing temperature.  (last week I was at the beach and the water was so warm, believe that I was disappointed... it was just too warm! haha Has that ever been a complaint in Idaho??)

Yes there are alligators in the water, and yes, I swam in it.  Here's the thing, I know what you're thinking.  The alligators are going to get me!  No.  Alligators are present, but during the day they're either on the banks or back far in the trees.  They're cold blooded, so they sun during the day, hunt during the night.  Furthermore, they're non aggressive, unlike crocodiles.  They are afraid of humans and leave whenever you come near.  AND what's more, is the water is so clear you could see it coming if you got a half retarded one that thought it was night and you were a bird.

Here are come picts of the day.  I'm pretty sure that tomorrow I'm going to do the exact same thing I did yesterday.

Look a manatee! Neat-o!

 That thing on it's fin is a tracking device.
 Taking a breather, right by my kayak.
 Look over yonder! A creeeeature!
 So, it's like a felony to touch the manatees.  So I can't really say, but they may or may not have felt rough with hair, like an elephant.
 Here I am randomly taking picts and this guy happened to be cruising passed us and didn't mind smiling for the camera! haha! cute adventure boy.
 Sharing some grub

 Um. Don't look at my dorky expression, note the manatees in the back making my life awesome.
 Obviously we didn't swim in this part of the river.  See the baby alligator in the vegetation!

Beauties.
 The dark part of the water is the sea weed.  I hate sea weed! Bah! You never know what sort of creatures are hiding in there!  At one point during our adventure we came across some people shucking scallops and they saw we were (such geeks) sharing one pathetic and old pair of goggles, so they offered to let us borrow their masks and snorkels.  We gladly accepted and swam around and to the bottom of the river searching for Seminole artifacts.  Didn't find anything... oh well! It was amazing!
 This is me in my element, being nothing but pure awesome.  Can you see the 2 little girls standing on the platform next to me?  They were so funny! So I'm up there preparing to jump, and wondering if the water is too shallow here and 1 of the girls speaks up and is like "oh no, it's not too shallow, if you jump like this and then pull your feet up like this, you won't even touch the bottom or the sea weed, and so I'm like, ok sure, and run and take a jump.  When I climb back up there, the girls are hesitating to jump, so I ask them what they're doing.  They laugh and admit it was their first time jumping and were a little scared! haha!!! They tricked me!
 This is one of my favorite pictures taken of me of all time.  It's just so awkward and hilarious.  I'm like... "wait, hold on, hold on, let me hold my nose.  I got this."





Gator! This lil dude was the only guy I saw all day, (he's the same gator in the other pic)  Isn't he precious!

Happy Fourth of July tomorrow! Yay America! Yay freedom!